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Gray Alert

As our untethered ship of state drifts farther and farther into La-La Land, our nobler goals and principles ever smaller shimmers on a featureless horizon, our feverish captain now fixed on liberating the world through Holy War, while drunkenly marching the rest of us into a police state wilderness, throwing the last of the cheap gasoline on every smoldering ember of anti-American sentiment along the way....
I find myself wondering how we came to this predicament, and I've come up
with a few naive and simple suggestions that, if implemented, would in my opinion go a long way toward correcting some of our current difficulties and preventing future ones:

First of all, I think that international affairs could be governed democratically by a body of representatives of member nations who agree to be bound by its decisions.  That way, stronger countries wouldn't be allowed to bully weaker ones.  And once a year they could have a televised drawing where one lucky member nation could oust the head of state of any other member nation they choose.

I think the manufacture and sale of weapons of mass destruction should be encouraged, but only for export to imminent adversaries.

Domestically, I think it would be a good idea if the president of the United States were sworn to uphold and defend its constitution.

And we should have elected officials accountable to the public.

While we're at it, we should make the president of the United States an elected official.

And anyone in a position of power suffering from too much "moral clarity", ie., lacking the patience or brains to govern, should be exiled to a gray area until their condition improves.

And finally, I think it would be fun to replace the word "liberty" with the word "french" on cafeteria menus and official documents.