The other night at bedtime mom was very confused, could not comprehend anything I said\u2014 the words \u201cgoing to bed\u201d made no sense to her. She did not know dad or me, or where she was, scared\u2026 We got her toileted, and teeth brushed, and to bed, but she could not follow the simplest instruction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Growing up, I remember reaching the age when I could tell that mom was playing dumb for my dad, and it bothered me. She knew I knew, and eventually I made my peace with it\u2014 she\u2019d simply decided to be the person he was in love with, because she loved him. Early in her disease, the dementia pulled aside that veil\u2014her inhibitions went away\u2014which I found delightful, but dad was flabbergasted. Now, when she has her deep lapses, it\u2019s hard for me to acknowledge that it\u2019s who she is. I want her to wake up, as if she\u2019s still pretending. And even at this late stage she\u2019ll occasionally come through\u2014lucid, articulate\u2014a source of wonder.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Last night, after dad had left the room, she took my hand and said my name. \u201cMitch,\u201d she said, clear as an autumn sky, \u201cdo you think that I should be more normal?\u201d I told her I didn\u2019t think she needed to pretend anything anymore, which made her smile.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The other night at bedtime mom was very confused, could not comprehend anything I said\u2014 the words \u201cgoing to bed\u201d made no sense to her. She did not know dad or me, or where she was, scared\u2026 We got her toileted, and teeth brushed, and to bed, but she could not follow the simplest instruction. … <\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/mitchrayes.com\/index\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/IMG_8342-1024x820.jpg\")
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